Sometimes I feel that the only person that truly understands me is me, and I am grateful for my self awareness. For the first time in my life, I’m starting to see through the fog. I understand the person I am and the person I want to be. Yet, while I am grateful for my new found self-awareness, I question my surroundings and whether they positively foster my growth.
If I am being completely transparent, I do have points of sadness that are seeping into areas of my life, where they don’t belong. I’m fighting a never-ending battle to stop them, and as of right now, I’m losing this battle. My weakest personality trait is that I don’t forgive people. If I feel that trust has been broken, I have a hard time looking past it. I’ve tried for years to combat this problem, but I find that instead of forgiving people, I mask the pain. I pretend that everything is okay when its not, and it eats me up inside. I know that this isn’t healthy for me, and I think it’s time that I start putting myself first.
I think its time that I start re-evaluating the relationships in my life and putting myself first. I need to see who truly makes me happy and who just needs me around to leach off of. I need to start making my feelings a priority and to start treating myself with the respect I should be giving myself. I waste too many of my thoughts on things that make me sad and devalue my life. It’s my responsibility to make sure that I am taken care of. While it has always being my life goal to help as many people as I possibly can, I can’t do this successfully if I devalue myself in the process. I need to surround myself with people who uplift me and help me become the person I want to be. I only have one life, and I don’t want to waste it on things that don’t add value to my life.