A few weeks ago, my brother-in-law and his wife had a daughter, and while I am happy for them as they enter this new chapter in their lives, it’s shone a fluorescent light on my life – that I don’t have a child. Now, I have to nod and smile as every family member I meet feels the need to tell me that I need to have a child next. All I want to do is scream “get out of my uterus”.
When did it become okay for people to tell you when to have kids, and why do they assume I want to have them? Yes I am in my 30s and have been married for almost 4 years, but I didn’t realize that people were tracking my “expiry date”. From what I hear, I am getting old and being married for as long as I have, and childless in the Indian community is apparently a crime – or at least that’ how it sounds when people speak to me. Perhaps I am too “modern” for my own good, but I don’t think children are a fashion accessory. I am not going to have them because other people tell me to.
Having children is a lot of responsibility, and a lifelong commitment – that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I think you need to be mentally prepared for the sleepless nights, projectile vomit, inquisitive minds and exciting arts and crafts projects. Yes, I see the good and the bad.
This is not a decision to step into lightly, and since it takes a village to raise a child, I have come up with what I think is a great solution. Those who feel it is okay to volunteer my uterus as a home for a new baby for 9 months have been added to a list of potential babysitters. If/when I decide to have children, they will be dropped off on their doorsteps for a fun sleepover whenever they drive me crazy. You’re Welcome!