There is a social stigma attached to pregnancy or what it should be like. Women are expected to be happy and bubbly about the miracle that is growing inside them, and grateful for the opportunity to grow a life inside them. I am very grateful that I am able to carry a child. It is the greatest blessing that I could ever ask for, but I could do without the aches and pains that come along with it. Every morning I wake up and feel my fingers and feet feel sore. I press on my hands with all my might and then groan at the thought of having to lift my 150 pound self out of bed. Being 26 pounds heavier than I am used to, it’s an accomplishment to even get out of bed in the morning. I have to mentally prepare myself before I even attempt to move. Eventually, I give up and just roll out of bed.
I hate being pregnant. There I said it, and it feels good to let that off my chest. I don’t enjoy feeling nauseous 24/7, feeling exhausted beyond belief and the constant rib pain that just won’t let up. I am constantly in a state of discomfort.
I am currently 6 months pregnant, so I still have a long ways to go, and I can feel myself being mentally torn down by this process. I don’t know how to regain my strength. It makes me sad to feel mentally weak. I want to be stronger and to feel like myself, but I don’t know what to do. Every day I fight a battle with my body. It wants rest, but I want to actively engage in my life. I don’t want to waste my day resting. I want to feel like my old self. I want to feel in control of my life.
I’m sure I am not the only person who has felt this way about being pregnant, but every mother I talk to seems to have had an amazing pregnancy. I have yet to find someone I can talk to about the struggles of pregnancy, without being judged for it!