I am officially 5 months pregnant and I for the first time in my life I am starting to feel pressure that I haven’t felt before. Breastfeeding! The child isn’t even here yet and I can feel information about the benefits of breastfeeding being thrown at me from every angle. I understand, breastfeeding is important. But it doesn’t come easy to everyone. For some women, they never produce enough milk, does that make them lesser moms? What if I don’t produce enough milk, am I a terrible mom? Every mom wants what is best for their child and if breastfeeding is what is best for their child, what mother wouldn’t want to do it? It comes down to whether they are capable of doing it or not.
Personally, I don’t want to breastfeed. I want to pump and feed. I want to be able to measure how much milk my child is getting. And to be able to quantify that he/she is in fact getting enough milk. Does that make me less of a mom?
I watched the video below earlier today and I couldn’t help but empathize with Whitney Port. You can see the pressure she is putting on herself. The pressure is a result of outside forces. It makes me sad to see that those forces are tearing her down. As women we should be picking each other up not tearing each other down, and I am grateful that she posted this video.
For the most part, I am a very strong person, but the pressure from outside forces is also starting to get to me. I don’t think its fair for me to feel as though I am a lesser person because I don’t want to conform to ‘what is acceptable’ by the masses.
Breastfeeding scares me because I don’t know if I will be able to do it. I have had a tough pregnancy thus far and I don’t expect that breastfeeding will be a walk in the park. My sister-in-law had a very tough time breastfeeding. I remember her returning from the hospital one day in tears because her daughter wasn’t getting enough milk. She thought she was doing everything correctly, but her daughter was starving and my sister in law had no idea. Since that day, I vowed to pump and feed my child. That way I could monitor that he/she was in fact consuming milk and being fed. I can’t imagine how she felt, and I hope I never have to.
Every mothers journey is different, but everyone is trying to do what is best for their child. I just wish mothers could do their best, free of judgment from outside forces.